You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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