She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Michael Bay diarrhea
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
