Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
