At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
