Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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