Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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