Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
