Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
