I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Randomize
