I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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