We won't sleep together?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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