I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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