Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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