is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Pooping to opera.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
