forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
