worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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