i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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