my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
