Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it wasn't lemon gatorade
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
