I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
