I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You're like the curious george of whores
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
