At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
