there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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