He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
