So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
