have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
