Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
