Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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