how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
