Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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