Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
