There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
