Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
