she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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