I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
