4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
