I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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