you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
