It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize