Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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