Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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