Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize