I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
