So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
