During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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