go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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