dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
