chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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