By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
