Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
