A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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