3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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