So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
