She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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