I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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