I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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