now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We are two peas in an std pod
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
