He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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