My sheets look like a crime scene.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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