Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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