my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
