we're blogging at a bar
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
