just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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