If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize