I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
